Farewell 2023, Hello 2024! Some Thoughts on Lessons in the Past Year - Good Community

No surprises on where I was yesterday - Dec 31.

We are there every year-end to review the year that passed and think about upcoming one.

I haven’t thought about my Word of the Year yet, though I have thought about some of the lessons from experiences in 2023.

One of them is on the importance of being part of, and maintaining, good communities.

Perhaps for the worse, I haven’t been part of many good communities in a long time. Many of them always felt distant, indifferent, or self-absorbed.

Of course, I was certainly a common denominator, so maybe it was just me.

And, of course, over the years, I just decided that maintaining such relationships wasn’t worth it. Why would you want to invest time and energy into a relationship with someone who wasn’t investing anything nearly as much?

I’m not saying that everything has to be exactly 50%, right down the middle. That would be unrealistic and pretty unreasonable.

At the very least, you want to feel accepted and that people are trying to understand you, or parts of you.

You also want to want to give back. I think that this 2nd part is increasingly an important criterion for me.

Having gone through 2023 with a few good communities, I’m happy to say that I am happy to give back to these communities.

Carrying on into 2024, I will endeavour to do this.

Wishing you and yours a fruitful 2024 ahead, filled with learning, meaning, and joy. Have a great one!

Opportunities Amidst the Current Microbiological Climate

Unless you are somehow isolated from the world and its happenings, this is a period of constant daily news about the latest disease outbreak - that of COVID-19.

Almost like a throwback to the days of SARS, temperature taking and travel declarations are the norm again.

And thus, invariably, comes the economic downturn. What else would we expect from cancelled travel, delayed shipments, and affected trade?

And yet, within all of this, there appears to be vast opportunity.

The question is, can you spot it?

Depending on your location, expertise, and station in life, you may be in a unique position to take advantage of the sudden slowdown.

For some of you, this is the perfect time to start developing that area of business that you never had the time to do earlier because you have been constantly swamped with work.

For others, this is your opportunity to just take a step back and recover from all the stresses that you have been placing upon your body and your relationships.

And for still others, this may be a chance to explore new markets and clients that never existed before now.

What I’m trying to say is that sitting around, merely reading the news, and having a pity party for yourself is not going to get you very far. Take this unprecedented opportunity to do something. You will be glad you did.

I Joined A Men's Group And It Changed Me

When I made my commitment at the beginning of this year - 2019 - to build better relationships, be they new or existing, I did wonder if I would be able to achieve it.

As with most incidents of ‘resolution-making’, I was conscientious in my efforts in the first month of the year.

And then, invariable, life gets in the way and I started to question my commitment.

Then, after a fateful meeting at an event in March - the Men’s Symposium, I met an intriguing gentleman, who invited me to a new initiative he just started - a Men’s Group.

Prior to this, I’d wondered if such groups even existed. And so, I went to my first meeting.

And it was remarkable. To be fair, I didn’t know what to expect. Even so, it was nothing like I imagined (or feared).

The atmosphere was welcoming, the attendees were fully present, and I went away with a new sense of possibilities for the year.

This is an excerpt from a FB post I made about the event:

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Finally, in the evening, by invitation, I joined him and 3 other men in my first ever Men's Group. We watched a docu-film called 'The Work' by directors Jairus McLeary and Gethin Aldous (Men, you really should look this up and watch it. I don't recommend anything lightly, as those of you who've known me for some time will know).

We then came together afterwards to discuss the film and share our thoughts.

I must say that, prior to last night, I had never even really heard of Men's Groups. One of the reasons I joined last evening was that I had been feeling a sense of isolation for some time and, late last year, I realised how un-connected I was.

The main question in my mind was, 'Who can I open up to when I face problems?'

While amongst the others present last evening, I learned that I was not the only one asking this question.

So it was serendipitous that I met him at the Men's Symposium last Sunday and he happened to be hosting the Group yesterday.

Thank you for extending the invitation. I don't think you know what it means to me to have visited your Group. Nevertheless, I am deeply thankful that you reached out. I look forward to contributing more in the future if you'll have me.

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By the 3rd one or so, I was awash with a familiar doubt.

“I don’t feel like being there. How does this help me? I’m not making a difference there. Why bother?'“

I seriously contemplated not turning up for the next one.

“What difference would it make?” I asked myself.

It is at times like these that I realise how important to my mental well-being it is to make decisions before they need to be made. As I had already decided to keep attending early on, I kept to my decision.

And I never doubted myself in this area again.

Since that incident, I had ‘religiously’ been present at every monthly meeting.

At this point, having just attended the 10th session (I hope my math is right), I told the group my experience and that I had grown since that first meeting.

Because our meetings are meant to be private, I am not at liberty to disclose what we have discussed or done in them. Suffice it to say that I have found them to be an important part of my growth this year.

I am immensely grateful to have found this group of men. Though we aren’t necessarily ‘brothers in arms’ in closeness (yet), I know that I can count on at least some of them should I ever need to call for an listening ear or for help.

It is a relief to know that I am not the only one bothered by the oft-unspoken loneliness that many men face.

Though we may put on a brave front or say that we are fine, more often than not, we aren’t.

I believe that this needs to be a more widespread thing. And as I have been inspired, so shall I inspire others.

Perhaps in 2020, I will start one and see where that takes us. There is much to consider, of course, but, as one of the lessons I learned attending this Group, I need to take action, not just stay in my head.

Here’s to a connected 2020, for all men everywhere.