We're all highly susceptible to influence.
Why? Because we are social and self-preserving. We don't just do best in community, we actively need and seek it out.
Thus, it's no wonder that we want to be part of a community.
And to fit in that community, we take cues of behaviour and mindsets from others around us, especially those who are respected or, at least, somehow elevated in the community.
Since this is all hardwired into us, and we've been picking up cues since we were born, we get really good at it. Practically an instinct.
Which means that it's also impossible to be free of influences.
What I learned is:
The first thought that enters our heads is a result of external influences, whether it's upbringing, culture, the people I hang around with the most, etc.
We can call this programming, conditioning, internalisation, or what we like, but it's kind of in-built and very difficult to override.
What's really important is what we do, say, and/or think after that first thought appears.
That is what makes us who we are.
Gen X? Millennial? Caught in the Middle?
Am I a Gen X or am I a Millennial?
According to Wikipedia,
There are no precise dates for when this cohort (referring to Millennials) starts or ends; demographers and researchers typically use the early 1980s as starting birth years and the mid-1990s to early 2000s as ending birth years.
Being born in the early 1980s, by this definition, I could be considered an early Millennial. At the same time, I may be a late Gen X instead. Again, according to Wikipedia,
There are no precise dates for when Generation X starts or ends; demographers and researchers typically use starting birth years ranging from the early-to-mid 1960s and ending birth years ranging from the late 1970s to early 1980s.
Of course, the truth is that neither group is truly defined by their age. It has always been more of a set of characteristics and behaviours.
That said, there is likely no such person who embodies every single trait (and stereotype) of either group. Humans being humans, we are mixed bags.
I wondered about this when I noticed my reluctance to adopt now-popular social media platforms when they first started out. I knew of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and the like almost as soon as they became available to the general public but I was never among the first to use them.
Perhaps this has nothing to do with whether I am Gen X or a Millennial and more of me being a bit of a laggard (as opposed to the early adopters).
Even today, I am apprehensive of hiring transportation from private cars, much preferring to get to my destinations by regular taxis (even if I have to book them).
At the same time, I am no slouch when it comes to technology. I have been customising, upgrading and/or fixing up my own computers since I was a teenager, I trawl the Internet for information on maximising my use of computer programs or fixing technological issues that I face (usually very successfully), and I insist on being able to customise my own technological devices - a core reason for my refusal to use a particular brand associated with the fruiting body of the Malus genus.
I recognise some stereotypical Millennial behaviours in myself, such as:
1) Researching product information on the Internet before making a purchase
2) Insisting on finding meaningful work
3) Disliking other people taking up unnecessary amounts of my time
Yet, I hardly exhibit other stereotypical Millennial behaviours, such as:
a) Viewing social media 'influencers' with large followings as celebrities
b) Embracing the Sharing Economy
c) Desiring a workplace that is social and 'fun'
It got me thinking: Aren't behaviour molded by cultures? Since the Millennials are the ones growing up with all this technology around them, is it any wonder that the behaviours forged by technology are picked up most quickly by those who are most deeply immersed in those same technologies?
With high Internet speeds, we become less patient. With mass production, we find blending in easy. With ready information anytime anywhere, we become less easily satisfied and more skeptical of what is presented before us.
The behaviours of a stereotypical Millennial, then, aren't so much to do with when the individual was born but, more likely, how readily they he/she has taken to the available technology. After all, there are 'aunties' and 'uncles' who exhibit the very same behaviours we ascribe to Millennials, and who embrace the fast-paced, high-tech lifestyle of the 'young people'.
So, am I a Gen X or a Millennial?
I guess it doesn't really matter, does it?
Meetups On The First Week Of August
The past week, I met up with two individuals whom I met from previous workshops / events.
My meetup on Wednesday first introduced himself as Sia (though that's actually his last name, I believe). He has just started his studies at NUS in Business Admin. He told me about his internet marketing experience (pretty extensive at that) and offered to connect me with a couple of his friends, who run a website for resellers.
He also shared that he has started reading up on investment strategies and other financial information. This makes me sound like a financial planner (I'm not), but I must say that I'm glad to meet someone who takes responsibility for his own financial future at such a young age. I certainly didn't care much about it when I was his age.
I offered my expertise to him and his coursemates - to coach them in public speaking and presentation skills (at no charge, of course). He has thus far found 5 interested parties. Very quick to take action, very enterprising. I look forward to working with him.
My second meetup was with Coen. When I first met him, I pegged him as a rather quiet, and certainly deeply thinking individual. It turns out that my first impression was pretty accurate. We shared thoughts and information about ourselves and what we do.
I learned that he now trains in corporate settings, coaches people and also works closely with his business mentors and partners, purposefully setting time aside to do so.
What I found remarkable was how aligned our values are when it comes to leadership, teaching and influencing others. His background in personality-based training and his love of psychology and language skills are also similar to mine, though he has certainly had much more formal training in personality assessment than I have.
Some time through our conversation, he told me that he was looking for speakers for a Toastmasters event in November themed 'The Introvert Speaker'. Having heard of my book title, he asked me if I was interested to do a segment for the event. Naturally, I said yes. How could I not? It is so immensely related to what I've written about, it seems almost tailor-made for me. He even mentioned that if my book could be printed by then, I could sell copies of it at the event. Sounds like great motivation for pushing it out!
Finally, he offered his expertise and insight for what I'm working on - my desired entry into the corporate training industry, as well as other aspects of my training career. He mentioned that he would like to pay it forward, because someone once did the same for him. For that, I am truly thankful. Coen, if you're reading this, thank you. I look forward to working alongside you and learning more from you.
A Birthday Thank You Post
A certain number of years ago, I was born on this day. The heavens didn't burst into brilliance, the earth didn't tremble and people still went on with their normal lives. All in all, a very normal birth day.
Since that day, I would like to say that I have impacted lives, made a difference and that people will remember me when I'm gone. The truth is, I don't really know. I suppose nobody really does until they are truly gone, by which point they won't be able to know.
Nevertheless, I know that there have been people who have impacted my life, made a difference to me and these are people I will remember even when they are gone. For these people, I am thankful. Without them, I wouldn't be the same person I am today. Some of them don't even know that I exist, while others are closely familiar with me.
To you who have changed me, shaped me and forged me, thank you. This post is dedicated to you. May your influence over my life extend to the influence I had, have and will have on others in the years to come.
Why such a strange post? It's not a complicated answer. I do not revel in birthday parties, feasts and presents. They are but by-products of a culture that holds little meaning to me. I enjoy thinking and today, as I took time to think about the significance of another birthday, I thought about who I am and why I am who I am. I remember that a large part of who I am, though sculpted from my choices and decisions, have been influenced by those around me, positively or negatively.
So, again, to you by whom I was influenced, thank you for influencing me.
I don't have birthday-ish pictures to post, so I thought I'd post the picture of a place that I have many fond memories of: The canteen (close to present-day) of my secondary school, Chung Cheng High School (Main).
