Mid-career crises are particularly tumultuous.
There is the apprehension of what is to come, along with worrying that you won't have the time, agility, or support to transition into a different industry.
There is also the backwards-gazing of what once was, along with the dying hope that things will go back to the way they were.
And it's very easy to get caught between the two, nostalgia and uncertainty, resulting in a stagnant but sinking situation.
As with getting caught in quicksand, the first thing to do is to calm yourself. The more you struggle, the faster you sink.
The next thing to do is to slowly change your position. For quicksand, it's recommended that you try to get into a supine (facing up) position. In your situation, it may be breaking your silence and exploring options.
Then, finally, try to drift towards a safe spot.
If you have the benefit of supportive people around you, and you likely will if you break your silence, they can help you.
Ask them for for thoughts, ideas, even referrals if they can provide them.
You can face a crisis alone, but that's a choice you make.
You don't have to.
Making Mistakes Isn't a Death Sentence. Learn From Them. Help Others Learn From Theirs.
I make tonnes of mistakes.
Not every second of every day of my life, but while at work, I may spell something incorrectly, mess up a presentation slide, or mispronounce something when I'm teaching.
In my interactions with people, I may speak too quickly, say the wrong thing, or commit some social faux pas that I wasn't aware of.
Even while doing something as innocuous as ordering food, I may get a meat dish that's sweet (I know a lot of locals in SG love sweet sauces on meat dishes, but I hate them with a passion) or forget to tell the lady boss at the soy curd / drink stall to make mine with less sugar.
Each mistake I make gives me an opportunity to learn so I don't repeat it (until or unless it happens to slip my mind before I've formed a habit or I "get it").
I figured at some point that I should extend this opportunity to my students.
If they answer incorrectly, miss a step in their experiment that causes it to fail, or do the wrong thing at the wrong time, I get them to try again when they're ready.
Not all of them always take me up on my offer, but enough of them do that I've noticed it's not a trivial thing to them.
Perhaps they have always been harshly penalised for making mistakes, and this is a relief to them. I'm not sure.
Whatever the case, I want to keep giving them opportunities to learn and better themselves.
Because that's my job as an educator, isn't it?
Will You Help Him?
We meet obstacles every now and then.
Sometimes, they are easy to overcome. Like stepping over a small puddle.
Many times, they aren’t. Like a 2-metre high concrete wall.
Some of us try to climb over the wall. If we succeed, we move on, until the next obstacle.
If we fail, some of us try again. And again. And again.
After multiple tries, some of us are still stuck.
At this point, we can do 1 of 3 things:
1) Give up
2) Try a different technique / solution
3) Ask for help
The truth is, as long as we don’t give up, with the right approach and the right help, we can get over that wall, no matter how high it may be.
Maybe you found a way around it. Maybe you took a course on wall climbing. Maybe you built some stairs. Maybe you got a friend to bring you a ladder.
Now, we are veterans at getting over that particular wall.
One day, you’ll meet someone trying to scale that same wall.
The question is:
